Michael Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse? A: There is a great musician in you.
Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
The mother of a boy who claimed Michael Jackson molested him pleaded no contest to welfare fraud. Michael, who disappointed the audience with his performance at the World Music Awards, has pleaded no contest to being a complete freak.
Q: What did Michael Jackson yell when he fell off the boat?
A: Throw me the bouy!!
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Mel Gibson says he feels bad for Michael Richards, caught on tape launching a racist tirade against some African-American hecklers. Mel told the magazine, "I felt like sending Michael Richards a note." And the note would read, “Don’t forget the yids.”
Mel goes on to say of Richards, “They'll probably torture him for a while and then let him go.” I guess now he thinks the Jews run Guantanamo, too.
Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig with a wooden leg. His curiosity roused, he ask, "Fred, how'd that pig get him a wooden leg?"
"Well Michael, that's a mighty special pig! A while back a wild boar attacked me while I was walking in the woods. That pig there came a runnin', went after that boar and chased him away. Saved my life!"
"And the boar tore up his leg?"
"No he was fine after that. But a bit later we had that fire. Started in the shed up against the barn. Well, that ole pig started squealin' like he was stuck, woke us up, and' fore we got out here, the darn thing had herded the other animals out of the barn and saved' em all!"
"So that's when he hurt his leg, huh, Fred?"
"No, Michael. He was a might winded, though. When my tractor hit a rock and rolled down the hill into the pond I was knocked clean out. When I came to, that pig had dove into the more...
You don't recall that line from It's A Wonderful Life saying, "Every time a cash register rings, a customer enjoys never-before year-end savings at Try-N-Save!" Your kid makes a fortune trading in "Elmo futures." Salad Shooter in hand, Michael Jordan shows up as the honorary "4th wise man" in new nativity scenes. The impossible-to-get "Tickle Me Jesus" Santa's Coyote/Ford-powered sleigh came in second in this year's Indy 500. Wise Men now arrive carrying Faux Gold, The Clapper and a Chia Pet. WWF presents "Oh, Holy Night" Cage Match pitting The Three Wise Men against Jumping Joseph, Manic Mary and the Dangerous Manger Boy! Santa goes to Yankees in blockbuster trade for the slightly heavier Cecil Fielder. Rudolph demands Holiday Pay or he walks. Santa's North Pole operation announces a corporate downsizing amidst rumors that the Elf Division will be sold off to Keebler. Reindeer rights purchase by Disney results in odd-sounding, more...