Jordan Jokes

A pilot and his four passengers were on an airplane that was about to crash. The four passengers were Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, a hippie, and old man. Unfortunately, there were only four parachutes on the plane.
The pilot yelled, "I'm the pilot!" and jumped off with one of the parachutes.
Michael Jordan said, "I'm the world's greatest athlete!" and jumped off with another parachute.
Bill Clinton said, "I am the world's smartest man!" and jumped out of the plane. This left the hippie and the old man alone in the rapidly-descending airplane.
"I'm old," said the old man, "so you can have the last parachute."
"Nah, that's okay, man," the hippie said. "The world's smartest man just jumped out with my backpack."

There are five people on a plane that's crashing. There is the pilot, Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and a big, fat lady and four parachutes. The pilot jumps out and yells, ''God bless me!'' Bill Gates jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my bank account!'' Michael Jordan jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and my team!'' Wayne Gretzky jumps out and yells, ''God bless me and the New York Rangers!'' The big, fat lady jumps out without a parachute and yells, ''God bless me and the people I land on!''

BETTER TO BE A JOCK OR A NERD?
To help you in formulating your answer, the following should be considered:
Michael Jordan will make more than $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming he also makes $40 million in endorsements next year, he will be making $178,000 a day, working or not.
If he goes to see a movie, it will cost him $8.00 (without popcorn and drink), but will make $18,500 while he is there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he will make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage, even after the wage hike.
He will make $3,710 while watching each episode of "FRIENDS". If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (cost $90,000), it will take him a whole 12 hours to earn the money.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at a rate of 2 dollars every second. He will probobly pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, more...

Michael Jordan will make over $300, 000/game: $10, 000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178, 100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hrs a night, he makes $52, 000 every night.
If he goes to a movie, he'll pay $7. 00, but he'll make $18, 550.
He'll make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90, 000), it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65, 000 a year.
Next year, he'll make more than 2X as much as past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it?
. ..
BUT:
JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS INCOME FOR 270 YEARS TO HAVE A NET WORTH EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL GATES.

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush died and found themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River, looking across at the promised land. The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the Jordan River." As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he reassured them by saying, "Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally according to your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will sink into the water."The three American sages of political lore looked at one another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul to cross the Jordan River.Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat, thinking that all of his sins were coming back to haunt him. He was more...