Jordan Jokes / Recent Jokes

$ Michael Jordan having “retired, ” with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178, 100 a day, working or not.
$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52, 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
$ If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7. 00, but he’ll make $18, 550 while he’s there.
$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it.
$ He makes $7, 415/hr more than minimum wage.
$ He’ll make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90, 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2. 00 every second.
$ He’ll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33, 390 for that round.
$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will more...

BETTER TO BE A JOCK OR A NERD?
To help you in formulating your answer, the following should be considered:
Michael Jordan will make more than $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming he also makes $40 million in endorsements next year, he will be making $178,000 a day, working or not.
If he goes to see a movie, it will cost him $8.00 (without popcorn and drink), but will make $18,500 while he is there.
If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he will make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage, even after the wage hike.
He will make $3,710 while watching each episode of "FRIENDS". If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX (cost $90,000), it will take him a whole 12 hours to earn the money.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at a rate of 2 dollars every second. He will probobly pay around $200 for a nice round of more...

Mariah Carey was one of the first Celebrity jokes to comment on the death of the King of Jordan. Mariah told CNN "I'm inconsolable at the present time, I was a very good friend of Jordan, he was probably the greatest basketball player this country has ever seen, we will never see his like again". When told by reporters that it was King Hussein of Jordan who had died and not Michael Jordan, Mariah was then led away by her security in a state of "confusion".

When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.Finally she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"

Michael Jordan made over $300,000 a game. That equals $10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game. With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not. If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage. He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), he will hit the federal cap of $9500 more...

Michael Jordan made over $300,000/game: $10,000 a minute, assuming he averaged about 30 minutes per game.
Assuming $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he slept 7 hrs a night, he made $52,000 every night.
If he goes to a movie, he'll pay $7.00, but he'll make $18,550.
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000), it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
In one year, he made more than 2X as much as past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it?...
BUT:
JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS INCOME FOR 270 YEARS
TO HAVE A NET WORTH EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL GATES.

Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he averages about 30 minutes a game.
Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 days.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
A quickie will net him $1855.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be 'reimbursed' $33,390 for that more...