Midget Jokes / Recent Jokes

When is it polite to slap a midget? When it gets in your face!!!

While standing at a urinal, a man notices he's being watched by a midget. Although the little guy is staring at him quite intently, the man doesn't feel too uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs it, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.
"Wow," the midget comments. "Those have to be the nicest balls I've ever seen!"
Flattered, and somewhat surprised, the man thanks him and begins to move away. "Listen," the midget says, "this may seem like a strange request, but would you mind if I touched them?"
Again the man is a little startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he obliges.
The midget reaches out, gets a good, tight grip on the man's balls and says, "Ok, buddy, hand over your wallet, or I'll jump!"

A midget runs into a bar, turns to the guy beside him and says "Ouch."

A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off.Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted this horse. So he ask the owner if he could lift him up so he could look at the horses eyes. The owner did as the midget asked, and the midget said " Oh my, thse got very pretty eyez".Then the midget ask if he could lift him up so he could see her teeth, Then the midget said "Oh wow, thse got wonderful teeth. Then the midget ask if he could see her twat. The owner, being very pissed, picked him up, and rammed him in and out of the horse's twat.The midget looked up at the owner and said. "Oh my, yes she does have a very fine twat, but I guess I thoud have asked to see her gallop."

A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it any longer! The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and says, "What's wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "He's a midget!"

Queen Fiona had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This so incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day:"Small medium at large"

What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer?A short circuit.