Midget Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the days of the knights, a midget told his king that he, too, wanted to be a knight. Too small, said the king. But the
determined midget went about the kingdom, catching highwaymen and
rescuing maidens, until the news got back to the king. "All right,"
said the king. "I dub thee knight."Special miniature armor was hammered out for him. A galley knife was honed into a sword. But no horse little enough was found. So the king substituted a large shaggy dog. And the midget went forth again to do good. A terrible rainstorm came up. The midget rode to a nearby inn. But the innkeeper said there was no more room. The midget pointed out how little space he'd take up. The innkeeper looked him over, and his mount, too, both soaked to the skin, and finally said, "Come on in. We'll find a spot for you. I couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."

Knock! Knock!
Who's There?
Midget.
Midget who?
A midget who cant reach the doorbell.

Q. What do you get if you cross a midget with Dracula?A. A vampire that sucks blood from your kneecaps.

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day whenSleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!"Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him." The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!"The Pope looks at Dopey and asks, "Do you have a question to ask me, young man?" Dopey looks up shyly and says, "Well, yes." The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask. Dopey asks, "Well, do.... do they have nuns in Alaska?" The Pope replies, "Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska." The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting, "Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!"The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues, "Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in more...

Two guys were at a bar arguing with their friend who was a midget. Sudden out of nowhere, the Pope walks into the bar! "Oh my god its the pope " they all say at once "the midget says to the guys 'That's it I'm going ask him." So he walks up to the Pope and asks "Sir, are there midget nuns in America?", "No, no, no." says the Pope "Are there midget nuns in the entire world?" "No, no, no." says the Pope "Are there even such things as midget nuns?" "No, no, no." says the Pope. His friends burst out chanting, "Joe screwed a penguin, Joe screwed a penguin..."

Did you hear about the medium midget that escaped from prison? No, I didn't. Does that mean that there's a small medium at large?

A guy who owns a horse farm gets a call from one of his buddies. "I know this midget with a speech impediment who's looking to buy a horse, so I'm sending him right over."
The midget arrives and the owner asks him if he's interested in a male or female horse.
"A female horth," replies the midget, so the owner shows him one.
"Nith looking horth. Can I thee her mouf?" the midget asks. The owner lifts the midget up and shows him the horse's mouth.
"Nith mouf," says the midget. "Can I thee her eyeth?" So the owner lifts the midget up and shows him the horse's eyes.
"OK, what about her earth?" the midget asks. Now the owner is beginning to get a little pissed, but he picks up the midget once more and shows him her ears.
"OK, finally, I'd like to thee her twat," says the midget.
Losing all patience, the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse, then pulls him out.
Shaking more...