Minister Jokes / Recent Jokes

A MINISTER due to go on a foreign tour had a lot of cash lying with him. He thought it would be safest left with the Prime Minister and requested him to keep it for him till he returned. The Prime Minister agreed but insisted that the transaction be witnessed by two of his senior assistants. "Money matters can lead to misunderstanding," said the PM. "It is always wise to have two witnesses."
The Minister saw the wisdom of the advice. The cash was handed over to the PM in the presence of two of his senior advisers.
Some weeks later when the Minister returned home, he called on the PM and asked for the return of the money.
"What money?" asked the PM "I don't know what you are talking about?"
"The cash I left with you," pleaded the Minister. You even had two of your senior advisers as witnesses."
"Let's ask them," replied the PM. The senior advisers were sent for.
"Do you know anything more...

At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.

As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."

Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"

As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why anyone would deem him smarter than Einstein. So he decided to ask the man the following Sunday.

The next Sunday he asked the parishioner if he remembered the previous Sunday's comment about the sermon. The parishioner replied that he did.

The minister asked, "Exactly what did you mean that I must be smarter than Einstein?"

The man replied, "Well, Reverend, they say that Einstein was so smart that only ten people in the entire more...

A man who went to Church with his wife fell was always falling asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." She poked her husband who then came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".
The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ".
The Minister said "that's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to more...

A man who went to Church with his wife fell was always falling asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off.As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." She poked her husband who then came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.The man sat back down, muttering under his breath and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ".The Minister said "that's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to "... and what did Eve more...

Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do
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A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police
raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer
said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"
Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me
for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said,
"No, officer; I was not gambling."
The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you
gambling?"
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No,
officer; I was not gambling."
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein,
were you gambling?"
Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"

Three ministers are talking over lunch and before long find themselves discussing how much of the weekly donations was appropriate to keep and how much to give to the Lord. The first minister says, "I just draw a line on the floor, put one foot on both sides, and throw the money into the air. Whatever lands on the right side of the line is God's and whatever lands on the left is mine." The second minister notes that he uses a similar method, but "I use a small coffee table when I throw the money in the air and whatever lands on the table goes to the Lord and whatever lands on the floor is mine." They both contemplate each other's answer and finally turn to the third minister who is sitting there without saying anything. "Well, how do you do it?" asks the first to the third. "Well, I do as you both do and throw the money into the air, but I figure whatever the Lord wants, he'll grab, and I keep whatever hits the floor."

Adivasis of a district approached their Member of Parliament and said,' Our Pradhan Mantri has visited every part of the country but has never been to see us. You are our representative, you must get him to visit us here.'
The MP demurred. He was a member of the Opposition and was hardly expected to invite the Prime Minister. But the Adivasis insisted that he get the Pradhan Mantri somehow or the other. Then the wily MP thought of a way out:' You see, the Prime Minister likes to dress in the costumes of the people he visits. Most of you go naked. So even if he agrees to come here, what should I tell him about what he should wear?'