Minute Jokes / Recent Jokes

What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. The call was from AT&T, and it went something like this: Me: HelloAT&T: Hello, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes. This is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: YES! This is AT&T. May I speak to Mr. Salem please? Me: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. Me: OK, hold on. At this point, I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, she was still waiting. Me: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Salem? Me: May I ask who is calling please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T... Me: This is AT&T? AT&T: more...

Banta Singh: "Er, is that Air-India office? Can you tell me how long it takes to fly from Delhi to Bombay?" Booking clerk: "Just a minute, Sir..." Banta: "O. K. Thanks a lot." And he hangs up.

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He plowed a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided more...

Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and lo-and-behold a real Genie appeared. Bill was amazed and asked if he got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope... not these days... I'm only giving out 1 wish because of inflation. So... what'll be?" Bill didn't hesitate. He said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other." The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Are you crazy! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good but I'm not THAT good. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish." Bill thought for a minute and said, "You know, people really don't like my wife. They think she's a real witch and ugly as sin. I wish for her to be the most beautiful woman in the world and I want everybody to like her. That's what I want!"The Genie thought for a minute and said, "Hmmmmm. Lemme see that more...

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head.
Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister more...

Is It Better To Be A Jock Or A Nerd?
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd"?
Michael Jordan made over $300, 000 a game. That equals $10, 000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.
With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178, 100 a day, working or not.
If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52, 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $9. 50, but he'll make $18, 550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7, 415/hr more than minimum wage.
He'd make $3, 710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura SLX (about $90, 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2. 00 every second.
He'd probably pay around $200 for a nice more...

A minister of government whose knowledge of English was very poor was provided with a secretary to write speeches for him.' Give me a fifteen-minute speech on the non-aligned movement,' ordered the boss.
The text was prepared to last exactly fifteen minutes. But when the minister proceeded to make his oration, it took him half an hour to do so. The organisers of the conference were upset because their schedule went awry. And the minister was upset because his secretary had let him down. He upbraided him:' I asked for a fifteen minute speech; you gave me a half-hour speech. Why?', he demanded.
'Sir, I gave a fifteen minute speech. But you read out its carbon copy as well.'