Mirror Jokes / Recent Jokes

Chilhood: When you make faces at mirror. Middle age is when mirror gets even.
Bald man: A person who has lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.
Marriage: An institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a women gets her master's.
Doctor: Who cures your ills by pills and kills you by his bills.
Alimony: A mode of payment that enables a women who at one time lived happily married to live happily unmarried.
Indian Film Heroines: If they display their assets, the producer recovers his liabilities.

there was a blonde, a brunete, and a red head. they all walked into a bar for a drink.the bar tender said,''i have a magical mirror any thing you think you are.you tell the mirror and if its true you will become it even more of what you wished for.but if not the mirror will suck you up.'' so the brunet goes in and said ''i think im the prettyest girl in the world.''with that the mirror said ''you are.'' so she became prettyer than everyone in the world.then the red head went in and said ''i think im the richest girl in the world.'' the mirror said'' you look very rich you now are the richest girl in the world.''the blonde went in and said ''i think''and with that the mirror gobbeld her up.the two girls left said ''why did the mirror swollow her up?''the man said'' because she said that she thought and thats a lie.''

Superman, Snow White and the Hunchback of Notre Dame were sitting around talking about their best qualities. Superman said, "I am considered to be the strongest man in the world." Snow White said, "I am considered to be the fairest maiden in the world." Hunchback said, "Well, I have the reputation of being the ugliest man in the world."
Superman suggested they go to the castle and see what Snow White's mirror had to say. Superman went in first. When he returned he said the mirror confirmed that he is still the strongest man in the world. Snow White was next and when she joined the other two she said she was, indeed, still the fairest maiden in the world. The Hunchback was next and when he came out he had a puzzled look on his face. He asked the other two, "Who is Dennis Rodman? "

One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L.A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male One hand more...

A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, “Welcome to the ladies room.
Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity! ” The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, “I think I’m the most beautiful of us three” and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said “I think I’m the most talented of us three” and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, “I think…” more...

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?"
"That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface. Then I just reach down and net them and pull them into the boat."
"Wow! Does that really work?"
"You bet it does."
"Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $30 for it."
"Well, okay."
After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many fish have you caught this week?"
"You're the sixth," he said.

Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I`ve seen this face before!"
"Give it to me", says the other blonde.
She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It`s me!!"