Misbehaving Jokes

As usual, Billy had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After he emerged, he told his mother that he had thought things over and had said a prayer.
"That's good, Billy. If you ask God to help you to not misbehave, He will help you," his mother said.
"I didn't ask Him to help me to not misbehave, Mom, I asked Him to help you put up with me."

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out, so he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true, the Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."
God was not pleased, so He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what the Email said?
Just wondering, I didn't get one either.

Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true--the Earth is in decline;
95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said?
I didn't get one either.