Misbehave Jokes

If I misbehave and nobody sees me, that's one less lie I'll have to tell later. — Dave Dunseath

I don't say we ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as though we could.

As usual, Billy had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After he emerged, he told his mother that he had thought things over and had said a prayer.
"That's good, Billy. If you ask God to help you to not misbehave, He will help you," his mother said.
"I didn't ask Him to help me to not misbehave, Mom, I asked Him to help you put up with me."

Little Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.
"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Little Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."

Why isn't God helping us? Some people ask this question. Well, here's an answer.
Billy Graham's daughter was being interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response.
She said "I believe that God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman that He is, I believe that He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand that He leave us alone?"
I know there's been a lot of emails going around in regards to 9/11/01, but this really makes you think. If you don't have time, at least skim through it, but the bottom line is something to think about... in light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.
Let's see, I think it more...