Graham Jokes

The Pope, Billy Graham and Oral Roberts were in a fatal three-way car crash and all went to Heaven together.
"Oh, this is awful," exclaimed St. Peter. "I know you must think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those strange coincidences that happen. We weren't expecting you, so your quarters aren't ready. We can't send you back and we can't take you in."
Suddenly, St. Peter got an idea. He picked up the phone and called Lucifer. "Lucifer," he said, "this is Peter. We have a bit of a problem. We have three guys up here. They are ours, but we weren't expecting them so we need some time to fix up their quarters. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It should only take us a couple of days. What do you say?"
The devil was reluctant, but he agreed.
Two days later, St. Peter received a call. "Peter, this is Lucifer. Listen, you have to come and get these three clowns. The Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the more...

In Minneapolis, a 2-year-old boy somehow removed a gun from his mother's purse and shot his father. Well, listen, if this kid wants another graham cracker, he wants another graham cracker.

When the Rev. Billy Graham came to our local community to be the guest preacher for a holiday evening worship service, he arrived to the church in the afternoon. He wanted to check the setting for his performance, meet with the minister, and take care of some personal matters.

He realized that he had an important letter to mail, so he walked out to the portico, and saw a young boy on a bicycle on his way through. He stopped the boy on his bike to ask him directions on how he might get to the local post office.

The boy obliged, giving Billy Graham precise directions to the nearest post office.

Billy Graham then offered the boy two tickets to his appearance for himself and his mother, and to hear Billy Graham address the topic: "How to Get to Heaven" that evening.

The boy refused to accept the tickets by saying, "I am sorry but I can't accept he tickets because, if you can't find your way to the post office, how can you tell me more...

The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning. "Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!" "The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George. "Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

Billy Graham went to see the Pope in Rome. While he was waiting, Billy noticed a red phone. As he was ushered in to talk to the Pope, he asked, "What's the red phone for?" "That's to talk to God," came the reply. "Really," Billy gasped, "how much does such a call cost - it's an awful long way?" "$10,000 a minute, but it's well worth it." answered the Pope. Some weeks later, Billy Graham went to see the Chief Rabbi in Jerusalem. He noticed that he, too, had a red phone. "I don't suppose," asked Billy, "that this phone is to talk to God?" "Yes it is." came the reply. "And how much does that cost?" Billy inquired. "Twenty-five cents a minute," shrugged the chief rabbi. "How come it's so cheap?" Billy asked, "the Pope has a phone like that and it costs $10,000 a minute!" "Well," grinned the Chief Rabbi, "From here it's just a local call."