Lucifer Jokes

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions.
Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a Beautiful young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says, "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the room after Bill. As he turns around, he bumps into more...

The Pope, Billy Graham and Oral Roberts were in a fatal three-way car crash and all went to Heaven together.
"Oh, this is awful," exclaimed St. Peter. "I know you must think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those strange coincidences that happen. We weren't expecting you, so your quarters aren't ready. We can't send you back and we can't take you in."
Suddenly, St. Peter got an idea. He picked up the phone and called Lucifer. "Lucifer," he said, "this is Peter. We have a bit of a problem. We have three guys up here. They are ours, but we weren't expecting them so we need some time to fix up their quarters. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It should only take us a couple of days. What do you say?"
The devil was reluctant, but he agreed.
Two days later, St. Peter received a call. "Peter, this is Lucifer. Listen, you have to come and get these three clowns. The Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the more...

Bill Gates dies and goes to hell where he is greeted by Satan. "Welcome, Mr. Gates, I've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. All your life you have been selfish, greedy and a big liar. Since I'm in a good mood, I'll be generous and offer you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked up forever."
Satan takes Gates to an enormous lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured.
Then he takes him to a massive colosseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by hungry lions.
Finally, he takes him to a small room. Inside the room is a gorgeous, young blonde with an alluring look on her face, sitting at a table on which there is a bottle of the finest wine. Looking around the room Bill spots a PC in the corner and, without hesitation, tells Satan that this is his choice of option.
Accepting his choice, Satan allows Bill to enter the room and then locks the door after him. Turning around, more...

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.
Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it."
Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it."
Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount."
Lucifer: "Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.Saint Peter: "This fence needs some repair. I'll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it."Lucifer: "If you want it fixed, you pay for it." Saint Peter: "The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount."Lucifer: "Ha! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!"