Miser Jokes

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money, always denying himself and his wife any reasonable comfort because he didn't want to part with his precious money.
He loved his money more than anything, so just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."
The wife promised she would do as he said.
One day the old miser died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife sitting there in black next to her closest friend.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her which she placed in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away.
Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that more...

A rich widower miser NRI went back to India and married a young village girl. The girl did not like his hugging and kissing all the time. He thought of a scheme to teach his wife not to hate his American life style. He bought a piggy bank and told his wife that every time he kisses or hugs her, he will put a rupee coin in the piggy bank and at the end of month she can open the bank and buy a new saree with the money. The scheme worked very well. The young wife showed more willingness to be kissed and hugged. At the end of the month he gave her the key and told his wife to open the piggy bank. What he saw did not please him. There were many 5 and 10 rupee bills along with rupee coins in the box. Where did these come from he demanded angirly. I've been putting only rupee coins. Not everyone is as kanjoos as you replied the wife.