Mistake Jokes / Recent Jokes
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.
1. When you take a long time, you`re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough.
2. When you don`t do it, you`re lazy.
When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy.
3. When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human.
4. When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative.
5. When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he`s being firm.
6. When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original.
7. When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative.
8. When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business.
9. When you`re on a day off more...
A lady walks into the dentist's office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. "You must have made a mistake" says the shocked dentist, "The gynecologist's office is one level higher." To that the lady replies, "No mistake, you installed my husband's dentures last week, now you'll be the one getting them out."
Defferences betwee You and your boss When you take a long time, you`re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough. When you don`t do it, you`re lazy.
When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy. When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human. When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative. When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he`s being firm. When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original. When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative. When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business. When you`re on a day off sick, you`re always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very more...
USER-FRIENDLY
C: DUR
Command not found. Try retyping
USER-HELPFUL
C: DUR
I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR?
USER-UNFRIENDLY
C: DUR
C: DUR
C: DUR
C: DUR
USER-HOSTILE
C: DUR
Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.
USER-INDIFFERENT
C: DUR
DUR?
USER-PATRONIZING
C: DUR
Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.
USER-OBSEQUIOUS
C: DUR
I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.
USER-SARCASTIC
C: DUR
Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.
USER-INSULTING
C: DUR
F*ck off
C: DIR
F*ck off
USER-SMUG
C: DUR
No
C: DOR
Nope
C: more...