Mitt Jokes / Recent Jokes

Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, decried stem-cell research. He said that his administration and the Bush administration are taking steps to stave off an ‘Orwellian’ future. He described a future with laboratories growing tray upon tray of new embryos. He’s obviously confusing Orwell’s vision of the future with Aldous Huxley’s, Brave New World. Wherein children are born from embryos in a factory according to the economic need of the society. An Orwellian future would be a government that twist language to meet their political goals, spies on its people, equates war with faith, and prohibits dissent

How to identify a Canadian driver: 1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO5. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY6. - One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER7. - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER8. - Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE9. - Two hands gripping more...

Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney is in hot water for using the term tar baby to describe Boston's Big Dig. "He was unaware that some people find the term objectionable," said his spokesman. "If it's any consolation, Mitt's 100% clear on n*gger."

Mitt Romney was quoted as saying, "The man who wins this race won't necessarily be the person who invested the most money in this, it'll be the person who is the most respected." He then paused for 5 seconds and said, "S**t."

My friend, DeWitt, happily told me that presidential candidate Mitt Romney was a Mormon and that they believe in multiple wives. Wow! Yeah, there is nothing that I would rather hear than, "Not tonight, we have a headache; we need you to go to the store and get some pads--a lot of them; we need some more romance; we need to talk--all of us."

I mean, I could probably get away with one murder, but several is pushing it.