Mode Jokes / Recent Jokes

EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift
EMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping
EMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes Simpler
EMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and Surreal
EMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate Sales
EMACS: Each Manual`s Audience is Completely Stupified
EMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy Screen
EMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer Storage
EMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the System
EMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete Simplicity
EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe Alternative Civilizations Survive
EMACS: Egregious Managers Actively Court Stallman
EMACS: Esoteric Malleability Always Considered Silly
EMACS: Emacs Manuals Always Cause Senility
EMACS: Easily Maintained with the Assistance of Chemical Solutions
EMACS: Edwardian Manifestation of All Colonial Sins
EMACS: Extended Macros Are Considered Superfluous
EMACS: Every Mode Accelerates Creation of Software
EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe more...

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form And then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never Let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some Actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance Engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak more...

I got this off of another mailing list, and though you do have to be somewhat familiar with Depeche Mode's music in order to fully appreciate this, I thought I would forward it anyway...
-Dan Aeschliman
Statement of Thesis
(sung to the tune of Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus)
Your own statement of thesis
Something to help you write
Something of might
Your own statement of thesis
Something to help you write
Something you'll spite
Feeling depressed
When you take the test
You may just snap
'Cause you just write crap
Don't forget your bluebook
The proctors give you dirty looks
Taking the test
Of issues addressed
Things on your chest
They can't be repressed
I will be prudent
I'm only a student
Reach out and touch page
Reach out and touch page
Your own statement of thesis...
Feeling depressed
When you take the test
You may just snap
'Cause you just write crap
Don't forget your more...