Modern Jokes / Recent Jokes

Are You A Steamer?
Steamer - A person, normally female and also normally of 45+ years, who refusing to accept her age makes desperate attempts to appear 20+ years younger.
Take this questionnaire to find out if you are a steamer:
Your wardrobe consists mainly of:
tailored suits and silk blouses - you spend most of your time at the office
sweats, jeans and t-shirts - designed for your active lifestyle
spandex pants in neon colors, halter tops and mini-skirts which you share with your 14 year-old daughter.
Your hair is:
exquisitely highlighted by one of the finer salons in your city
your natural color
the palest white blonde you can get from a bottle.
Your favourite place to buy clothing:
Saks, Holt-Renforth - only the finest quality will do
K-Mart, Walmart - you'd rather spend your hard-earned money on more important things
Contempo Casual, Suzies or wherever it is your teenaged daughter and her friends shop.
Your complexion more...

Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work."
"When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea."
"Then, when you wanted to "jazz" up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now we have a lot of new, younger choir members and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right!"
"But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've more...