Mondays Jokes

Mondays aren't so bad...it's my job that sucks.

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowingin despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil.
The Devil: Why so sad?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... Do you drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
The Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, brandy, rum, tequila, beer...we drink until we throw up and then we drink some more! It doesn't matter because you're already dead!
Guy: That sounds great.
The Devil: Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes.
The Devil: You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer - who cares! You're already dead!
Guy: Wow!
The Devil: Do you gamble?.
Guy: I do.
The Devil: Wednesdays you can gamble all youwant...blackjack, roulette, poker, whatever... If you lose yourshirt...who cares!
Guy: Amazing!
The Devil: more...

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.
Devil: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man? Guy: Sure I love to drink.
Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays that's all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab... We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more. Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it. Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay...you're already dead! Guy: No way!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table. Guy: Hmmm, I've more...

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.

Devil: Why so glum?
Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays that's all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab... We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great.
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it.
Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead!
Guy: No way!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've more...

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil.Devil: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.You a drinking man? Guy: Sure I love to drink.Devil: We'll you're gonna love Mondays, then. On Mondays that's all we do. Drink, Drink, Drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab... We drink until we throw up and then we drink some more.Guy: Gee, that sounds great.Devil: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it.Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, it's okay...you're already dead! Guy: No way! Devil: I bet you like to gamble.Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races; you name it. We've even opened up a Pai Gow poker table.Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow more...