Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why didn't Monica Lewinsky become a doctor?
Because she sucked as an intern.

Q: Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine? A: They both have, "incert Bill"! Sent by Gabriel

What's the difference between Monica Lewinski and a vacuum cleaner?
Mouthwash.

Question: Why should Monica Lewinsky never go to medical school?
Answer: She sucked as an intern!

Question: Why should Monica Lewinsky never go to medical school? Answer: She sucked as an intern!

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinto n: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go more...

Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out and vote.

Q: How will history remember Bill Clinton?
A: The President after Bush.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
A: One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House, the other is a chocolate Lab.

Q: What does Clinton say to interns as they leave his office?
A: "Don't hit your head on the desk."

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's day?
A: All pants half off.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Buffalo Bills have in common?
A: They both blew the big one several times.

Q: What was the first thing Monica saw in government?
A: The Executive Branch.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and soda pop machines have in common?
A: They both have slots which more...