Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
Clinton was showing her the proper way to take dictation.

Q: What is Monica's favorite chinese food?
A: Cream of sum young guy.

Q: What is Monica's favorite chinese food? A: Cream of sum young guy.

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q: What's Monica Lewinsky's favourite cheese?
A: President

AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:

"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face."

"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on."

"I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it."

"Thank you." Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie. "Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!", she exclaimed." No", said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish." "Lets see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage." "And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want." "I would like to get rid of these love handles, though." "Yeah, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles removed." Poof!, and just like that, her ears were gone!