Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes

Monica needed to get one of her dresses cleaned so she takes it to the
dry cleaners. The man working there was an elderly man and was hard of
hearing.

Monica said,"I need this dress cleaned."

The man said, "Come again?"

Monica replied, "No, it's just mustard."

Q. What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A. They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Why are Monica Lewinsky and a change machine alike?

They both say..."insert Bill here!"

Alice and Monica were having a rare heart-to-heart talk.

"What do you consider your worst vice," Alice asked.

"I don't like to admit it," Monica said, "but my worst vice is vanity.

Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and just admire my face."

"I wouldn't worry about it," said Alice. "That's not vanity. That's imagination."

Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.

"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!", she exclaimed.
"No", said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."

"Lets see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage."

"And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want."

"I would like to get rid of these love handles, though." "Yeah, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles removed."

Poof!, and just like that, her ears were gone!

Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky: - Nobody would know about her if it weren't for Bill - She sucks - She blows - She's bloated - She's the focus of a huge legal battle - She'll go down in a heartbeat Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?

Why didn't Monica get the job at IBM?

She sucked too much at her internship!