Monica Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why does Monica Lewinsky have chubby cheeks?
She's withholding evidence!

Things came to a head last week and the name Monica Lewinsky is fast
becoming a real mouthful at the White House. The latest news about
President Clinton is definitely hard to swallow and seems certain to
leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the current administration. It
will be some time before all the stains resulting from this issue are
removed from the Oval Office.
Monica Lewinsky has proved to be not as tight lipped as Clinton had
hoped and is expected to spit out the truth to a Grand Jury tomorrow.
She will surely go down in history for her orations concerning the
comings and goings behind the doors of the Oval Office. Monica was
apparently on her knees when she received the recent gagging order
from the White House and now has to decide whether to swallow her pride
and dispose of the evidence, or to succumb to the deep throated
rumblings of the Washington Press Corp. and spill the issue wide open.
Any attempt by Lewinsky more...

Why does Monica Lewinsky refuse to play golf?
She is sick and tired of getting hit in the head with Bill's balls.

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three-year-old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long."Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said softly, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."When they got to the checkout stand, the little girls immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother patiently said, "Monica, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."The man followed them out to the parking lot and more...

Before the books were published, readers suggested titles for Monica's tell-all book:

* Me and My Big Mouth
* What Really Goes Down In The White House
* You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
* How I Blew It In Washington
* Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
* Going Back for Gore
* Secret Services to the President
* Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
* The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
* She's Chief of MY Staff!
* Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
* Going Down and Moving Up
* Members of the Presidential Cabinet
* How To Get A head in Business
* I Wore What You Did Last Summer

Q: Did you know the toughest golf foursome to play behind?

A: It's Monica Lewinsky, OJ Simpson, Ted Kennedy, and Bill Clinton.

Q: Why?

A: Monica is a hooker. OJ is a slicer. Kennedy can't drive over water and Clinton doesn't know which hole to play.

Bill Clinton dies and is sent to the devil in hell

The devil tells him that he will shpw Clinton all the different kinds of torutre they have in hell and he gives Clinton the chance to choose his own punishment.

There are many windows as they walk along and Clinton looks at all the suffering and torture inn each one.

In one of them, there's a lady burning in fire

In another, there's a man being ironed

In another there are 2 men cutting eachother's dicks off

Then they come to another window where Clinton is shocked.. Inside, Monica Lewinsky is giving A Big Fat Ugly man a blow job Clinton cannot believe this is actually a punishment, but he keeps his mouth shut...and tells the devil that this is the punishment he wants..

So the devil says ok and they go in...as Bill gets ready the devil says: "Ok Monica, your punishment is over now, you may leave!"

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Ebru