Moron Jokes / Recent Jokes
The new tax system is full of acronyms which makes it more difficult for the average taxpayer to grasp. The following is a simple succinct appreciation of the new system.
The new system is NUTS the New Universal Taxation System and although it may appear to be complicated, it is easy to understand.
Basically, it is STUFFT the Simplified Tax Unit For Financial Transactions.
Major elements of NUTS include a number for each business entity an Australian Business Utilisation Number (ABUN) which will be used during dealings with governments at all levels.
Every business in Australia will get ABUN with NUTS. The new system will simplify the way businesses report to the Australian Taxation Collection Head Office Organisation (ATCHOO) Businesses will be required to complete a Business Activity Statement Table And Report Directive (BASTARD) every month.
Businesses should set aside at least three days every working week to fill the BASTARD more...
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."
The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."
(Obviously sung to the tune of
the Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Mine eyes have seen the Teletubby
And his cutsey little purse.
He wears a purple outfit,
And, dear friends, what's even worse,
He doesn't scratch or spit or belch,
He doesn't even curse.
What kind of guy is he?
CHORUS
Tinky Winky is a fairy.
Moral Morons must be wary.
Ignorance like their's is scary.
And Tinky Winky's gay.
I have seen his little triangle
Where it sits upon his head,
And we all know it's a symbol
For the shame that can't be said.
Now we have to purge this danger
Or our little boys will wed
A wife whose name is Ed.
CHORUS
His defenders say his purse is nothing
But a magic little bag.
That's a cover-up, as we all know,
He's just a little fag!
We cannot let a Teletubby
Appear in purple drag,
Moron more...
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American" Kristen replies.
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A more...
Techronia Technical Support Services
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Lets look at just some of the service offerings available from Techronia at competitive industry rates...
Techronia Phone Support
When the statement "Click Here" isn't clear enough; more...
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron says to the other, "I don't think much of this budgie jumping."
The other moron replies, "Yeah, I'm not too keen on this paragliding either."
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat broccoli.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don't know and I don't care.
What's the difference between the capital of Russia and a calf's mother?
One is Moscow, the other is cow's ma.
Where did the vegetables go to get drunk?
The Salad Bar.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Where does a one-armed man shop?
At a second hand store.
Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!
Which of these things don't belong: A tuna, a lobster, or a Chinese guy run over by a truck?
The tuna. The other two are crustaceans.
Who delivers puppies when the Vet isn't available?
The mid woof.
Why can't a woman ask her brother for help?
Because he can't be a brother and assist her too.
Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't?
Because he was a little more more...