Mortgage Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he
could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80, 000 mortgage
on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle?
Wait until Christmas."
Christmas came around, and Johnny asked again. The
father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry
about that. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of
the house with all his belongings in a suitcase.
The father asked him why he was leaving. The boy said,
"Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say
that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should
wait because she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck
with an $80, 000 mortgage!"

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280, 000 & your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase.
So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mum you were pulling out.
Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be f* cked if I'm staying here by myself with a $280, 000 mortgage & no bike! "

Little Johnny was running away from home, crying his eyes out, when he ran across a policeman.
"Where are you going, Little Johnny?" asked the cop.
"I'm running away from home," sobbed Little Johnny.
The cop asked him, "Why would you want to do something like that?"
"My mommy and daddy don't love me any more", he bawled.
"What would make you think that?" queries the cop.
"Well," says Little Johnny, "I asked my Mom for a brand new pair of roller skates, and she said that they couldn't afford it, the mortgage was too high."
"That doesn't mean she doesn't love you," the cop says
"No, no, no", says Little Johnny, "you don't understand. Then I asked my dad for a new bicycle and he said that they couldn't afford it because their mortgage was too high."
"Still," replies the cop, "they might be having financial difficulties right now, but I am more...

Little Johnny's birthday was coming up, so he asked his father if he could buy him a $200 bicycle.
"Johnny, we have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle?" his father replied. "Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came, but Johnny didn't get his bike, so he asked his father again.
"Sorry, son," his father said, "but the mortgage is still extremely high. Ask me again some other time."
A couple of days later, Johnny's father saw him walking out of the house with all of his belongings packed in a suitcase. Not understanding why, his father asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday, I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were pulling out. Then I heard Mommy say that you should wait because she was coming, too... "
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"

Moving Out
One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an $80, 000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were' pulling out,' and mommy said that' you should wait because she was coming, too....'
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80, 000 mortgage!"

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday.
Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $100,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas."
Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again.
His father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry about that. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about three days later, Little Johnny was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase.
His father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you yelling that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, "And I'll be DAMNED if I get stuck with a $100,000 mortgage!"

Hillary Rodham Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under this fancy "Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan," which means that even if she never gets re-elected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies.If Bill out-lives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary out-lives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that? WE DO!It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua, New York. Makes sense. They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense.Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residence HAD to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, more...