Moss Jokes

Last summer, my husband, Bill, took me camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.
One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. Bill tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, he spotted a small cabin off in the distance. Bill pulled out his binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our camp.
"That was terrific," I said. "How did you do it?"
"Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country all TV satellite dishes point south."

It was 5: 00 a. m., and, throwing open the door of the barracks, the sergeant shouted at the top of his lungs, "Fall in, you bastards. .. on the double!"
There was a mad scurrying as the men jumped into their clothing and came to order. Much to his surprise, however, Private Moss didn't budge. He just lay in his bed reading a magazine.
"Well?" the sergeant boomed.
Moss looked up. "My, there certainly are a lot of them, eh, Sarge?"

A pair of nude photographs is being auctioned off of supermodel Kate Moss and they’re expected to sell for $74,000.

Or for two bucks, collectors can purchase the cheaper visual equivalent, a photo of a blonde wig and cable wire.

Last summer, I took my wife camping for the first time. At every
opportunity, I passed along outdoor-survival lore.

One day we got lost hiking in the deep woods. I tried the usual tactics to determine direction - moss on the trees (there was no moss), direction of the sun (it was an overcast day). Just as I was beginning to panic, I spotted a small cabin off in the distance.

I pulled out my binoculars, studied the cabin, turned and led us right back to our campsite.

"That was terrific," she said. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," I replied. "In this part of the country all TV satellite
dishes point south."