Motel Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three travling salesmen needed a place to stay and found themselves at a small motel. The motel manager told them he only has one romm avalible with one bed. So all them men decide to sleep in the bed together. The next morning the man on the left side of the bed says
" Last night i had the best dream, a beatiful women was giving me a handjob."
The man on the other side os the bed says
" What a conincedence, I also had a dream that I was getting a handjob.
Then the man in the middle of the bed says
" Well I had a dream that I was skiing. "

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand.. .. I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of more...

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Noting that he needed a haircut before his meeting the following day, he called the desk clerk and asked if they had a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid we don't, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purpose."
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate machine, inserted fifty cents, stuck his head in the opening, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. A few seconds later, the salesman pulled his head out and surveyed it in the mirror, which reflected the best haircut he had ever had.
Proceeding down the hall, he saw another machine with a sign that read: Manicures - 50 cents. "Why not," thought the salesman. He put his money in the slot, inserted his hands, and pulled them out perfectly manicured.
The next machine he saw had a huge sign that read: This Machine Provides What Men Need Most When Away more...

A man flew to Florida and checked into a motel to await his wife who would be meeting him the next day after a business trip. At the motel he decided to send his wife an e-mail from his lap-top computer. While entering her address he typed one letter wrong and his note was directed, instead, to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the message, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Her family heard the noise and rushed into the room to find her on the floor and this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Signed,

Your eternally loving husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

Miss DeAngelo was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didnt find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the other woman in her husbands life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?""Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldnt help it." "Couldnt help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "Hows that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?""See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it." The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?" "No. I couldn't get on the bed!"

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They take her to a local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears strange noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldn't get on the bed!"