Mother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man finds a lamp, rubs it, and sure enough a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have 2 wishes. He will get whatever 2 things he wishes, BUT whatever he gets, his MIL will get double.
The man thinks for a while & then proclaims "1. I'd like a million dollars. 2. Beat me half to death".

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the
daughter-in-law
answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it
makes me
happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home
from
work any minute."
The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the
way
home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed,
showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally
her
husband more...

Three young women, a Tamilian, a Maharashtrian and a Punjaban, who all happened to die on the same day, arrived in the office of Dharamraj, the keeper of life's records. He first questioned the Tamilian about her lifestyle.' I have been very good: a virgin till I married, utterly faithful and dutiful to my husband. I looked after my mother-in-law and prayed to Tirupati everyday.'
'That's very good. I will recommend you for first class accommodation in paradise,' said Dharamraj.
The Maharashtrian came next.' I was a full-blooded Maratha so I could not be quite as chaste in thought and deed as my Tamilian sister. But I didn't hurt anyone and I kept my husband happy. 1
'For you, second class accommodation in paradise,' replied Dharamraj.
'And what about you?', he asked the lady from the land of the five rivers.
'I was a very bad woman,' she replied.' I did everything I shouldn't have done: I never said my prayers, I quarrelled with my saas (mother-in-law), and more...

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man."This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one."No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.And so they began arguing until the King called for silence."Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half.""Sounds good to me," said the first lady.But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed."But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court."Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."