Mother-in-law Jokes / Recent Jokes
Marriage is a three ring circus:
---engagement ring
---wedding ring
---suffering
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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After
marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got
two girlfriends.
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A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives.
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he more...
What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
Shoot her again.
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Its for my mother-in-law," explained the mourner at the funeral procession. Tightening the leash, he gestured down at the dog and said, "My Doberman here killed her.""Gee... Thats terrible," commiserated the spectator. "But... Hmmmm... Is there anyway you might lend me your dog for a day or so?"The bereaved son-in-law pointed his thumb over his shoulder and answered, "Get in line."
Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother-in-law?
A vicious dog eventually lets go!
A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?"
The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?"
The man replies, "My mother in law is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome!"
A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice. The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars. The man says, "that's ok." The man's next wish is for a house by the sea. Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "that's okay." The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!