Motorcycle Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by
a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing? What if you have an accident?”The priests say, “Don't worry, my son. Jesus is with us.”The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to
ride on a motorcycle.”
A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
"Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration."
Banta replies, "Not until you tell me what the heck I did wrong, Officer."
The officer explain, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign a few blocks back."
"Let me guess," said Banta, "all the wine shops are closed today!"
"Sir, I'm going to overlook that last comment. Now, if you would please show me your license and registration."
Banta counters, "Not until you tell me the difference between slowing down and coming to a complete stop."
"Sir, step out of the car."
As Banta reluctantly gets out of his car, the officer begins beating him over the head with his nightstick and exclaims, "Now, sir, would you more...
I think the war between the smokers and non-smokers is heating up a bit. I went into a restaurant for
lunch the other day and, as is my practice, requested a table in the ``no smoking'' section. They
seated me, and I went about the business of ordering and eating my food.
Somewhere between the clam chowder and a club sandwich, I caught the smell of nearby burning tobacco.
Upon looking around, I noticed the man in the booth next to me smoking a freshly lit cigarette.
Overcoming my natural reticence regarding confrontation, I spoke to the man. ``Excuse me, sir, but,
when you came in, did you ask to be seated in the no-smoking section?''
"Yes, I don't like the smell of smoke when I am eating any more than anyone else."
I asked, "Then why are you smoking that cigarette?"
"I've finished eating."
Silly me, it was obvious to the most casual observer.
I called the server over and made her aware of the more...
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."
He replied, "Highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She sat there for several minutes, laughing too hard to start her car.
What's the difference between a vaccum cleaner and a motorcycle?
A motorcycle can hold two dirtbags.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats and motorcycle jackets.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat more...