Motorist Jokes / Recent Jokes
A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor.
After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer, "At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day."
"Can't", replied the farmer. "At night I haul water for the hole."
One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. "Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!' "Why not" said the officer. "Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same." "But you did not stop" replied the officer, "and the sign says STOP." "But the way was clear and it was safe" replied the motorist. The officer then pulls out his batton and starts hitting the motorist. "What are you doing!" yells the motorist in surprise. "Do you want me to slow down or stop" says the officer.
A motorist had a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from
the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.The motorist thanked him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place."The patient said, "I'm in here for being crazy, not for being stupid."
Six months after purchasing an expensive battery for his car, an angry motorist returned to the shop where he bought it.
"Listen here," the motorist grumbled to the garage owner, "when I purchased that battery you told me it would be the last one my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"
"I'm sorry, sir," apologized the owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."
A traffic cop pulled over a speeding motorist and asked, "Do you have any ID?"
The motorist replied, "About what?"
"Now as I understand it, Sir," said the police officer to the motorist, "you were driving this vehicle when the accident occurred. Can you tell me what happened?""Im afraid not, officer," replied the motorist. "I had my eyes shut!"