Motorist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A policeman stops a motorist and says,' 'Excuse me sir, have you been drinking?'' The motorist says,' 'Why, have I got a fat girl next to me?''

A motorist ran into a shop. "Do you own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the manager. "Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a nun."

A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky.An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket."How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky."You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"

Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with rust Dealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it, did we?

Motorist: Does a deer have a horn? Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns. Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

While on routine patrol... / I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.
The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner / He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN-DON'T FEED THE PIGS!"
The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control. / It was raining.
I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner. / The dirt-bag let go with an "oink" when I walked by.
Knowing the suspect had a criminal history... / He puked on my uniform one night.
The information is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past. / I've got two theft cases hanging over my head.
While being arrested, this subject resisted being injured in the act. / He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirror sunglasses.
The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations. / I wrote one citation for each swear word.
Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a more...

A blonde female police officer stops a blonde female for speeding and says, "You were going pretty fast. I am going to have to ask to see your license."
The blonde motorist digs through her purse and then looks up at the officer, and says, "Can you tell me what it looks like?"
The officer replies, "It's rectangular and has your picture on it."
The blonde motorist digs through her purse some more and finds a small rectangular makeup mirror, looks at it and then hands it to the officer.
The officer looks at the mirror for a moment and says, "You can go. I didn't know you were a cop. "