Moved Jokes / Recent Jokes
this Irishman walks into a bar and he notices down at the end of the bar, threes a guy that looks identical to himself. he walks up to the man and says, my gosh man, we look a like. the Irishman at the bar said, your right my man, we sure do. the other Irishman said, i just moved here from Ireland a month ago. the other Irishman said, that is amazing, i just moved here from Ireland a month ago. the other Irishman said, well tell me chap, what city in Ireland are you from? Dublin, replied the other Irishman. the other Irishman said, i can not believe this, IM also from Dublin the other Irishman said, well what school did you go to in Dublin? St. Francis my friend, replied the other Irishman. the other Irishman said, i can not believe this, i also went to St. Francis, my gosh we both came here from Ireland, from the same city, the same school, this is really amazing. about that time this other guy comes in and sits down at the bar and says to the bartender, whets up Sam? the bartender more...
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again, and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested. When the case came before the court, this was the man's reply when asked why he acted in such a manner.
"When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments Remove Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."
A lady about eight months pregnant got on to a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the man's smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He now seemed very amused. She moved a fourth time and the man burst out laughing. She complained of this to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man; about 20 years old, what he had to say for himself. Very amusing... The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this. When the lady got on the bus I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said "The Double Mint Twins are coming", and I grinned. Then she moved again and sat under a sign that said "Slogan's liniment will reduce the Swelling", and I had to smile. Then she moved and placed herself under a sign that said, "Wrigley's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. But, your Honor, when she moved more...
Ok let me try and figure this out...Jay Leno was at 11:30 and NBC moved him to 10:00 and Conan to 11:30..Now Leno is being cut to 30 mins and moved back to 11:30 and Conan to 12:00...but Jerry Seinfeld may replace Conan...WAIT A MIN..Im confused... I thought LOST was on ABC!
A Lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the forth move, the man burst out laughing. She complained to the driver and had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "
Well your Honor, it was like this. When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, "
The Gold Dust Twins are coming,"
and I had to smile. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "
Sloan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,"
and I had to grin. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "
William's Big Stick Did The Trick"
, and I could hardly control myself. BUT-when she moved the forth time and sat under a sign that said more...
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Aug. 12 Moved to Indiana. It is so beautiful here. The rolling green hills are so nice. Can hardly wait to see snow covering them.
Oct. 14 Indiana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride hrough the beautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill Such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will start to snow soon. I love it here.
Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Indiana.
Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to more...