Moved Jokes / Recent Jokes

A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER
Dear Louanne Ellie Mae,
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a loan in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the more...

Once Lalloo, S Wife Rabdi Devi Dies And Goes To Heaven. There She Meet The Angel. He Tells Her To Wait For Him While He Sorts
Out Some Problem. While Waiting She Notices That There Are More Than 90 Clocks In The Room And Each Clock Had Just One Hand
Which Was Moving At Different Speed. She Gets Confused And Asks The Angel On His Return The Meaning Of This. He Explains That
Hey Were The Clocks Of Lie That Means That Every Time A Person Lies The Hand Of The Clovk Moves. Saying So He Starts
Introducing Her To Each Clock."This Is Mother Teressa's Clock Which Never Moved In Her Life, This Gandhiji's Clock Which
Moved Only Three Times, This Is Parvez Musharaff's Which Moves Ever Few Minutes...." So On He Told Her. At The End She Asked
Him "Bhai! Hamre Lallooji Ki Ghadi Kaha Hove?"(Where Is Ny Lallo's Clock?)The Angel Tells Her "Oh That! I Use It As A Fan In
My Room."

A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTERDear Louanne Ellie Mae, I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. Wedon't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a loan in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really more...

ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SONDearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain...we haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because more...

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.""Whose clock is that?""That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life.""Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked."Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter and asks, "What are those for?"St Peter answers, "Those are lie clocks. Everyone has one. Each time you lie, the hands on your clock move.""Oh," says the man, "Whose lie clock is that one?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St Peter replies, "The hands never moved because she never told a lie.""Incredible," muses the man, "Whose is that one?""Abraham Lincoln's," St Peter says, "The hands only moved twice because he only told two lies in his entire life.""Wow, so what about George W Bush and Tony Blairs clocks?" The man asks."They're in Jesus' office," Says St Peter, "He's using them as ceiling fans."

A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTERDear Louanne Ellie Mae, I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. Wedon't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a loan in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were more...