Movie Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. You could care less who Britney Spears is sleeping with.
2. You understand the differences between 27 brands of imported chardonnay.
3. You can call anyone "honey" including pets.
4. You know someone who was in the emergency room with Richard Gere the gerbil.
5. You understand the immense importance of quality lighting.
6. You can be at a crowded disco the size of a baseball field and still spot a toupee.
7. You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit, and truly mean her bathing suit.
8. You can explain the nuances between steady date, boyfriend and lover.
9. You really have "been there, done that."
10. Your women friends will tell you everything you want to know about their boyfriends.
11. You're the only type of male who gets to say "fabulous."
12. You can have naked pictures of men you don't know in your house.
13. You can have naked men you don't know at your house.
14. You know how to handle more...

According to a dad in Des Moines, his 13-year-old son went on a biting spree at his middle school because of the movie "Twilight". The father stated that this isn’t the first time his son has emulated what he’s seen in a movie. Last year the boy was suspended for 3 weeks after watching Brokeback Mountain.

Old is when the porn movie you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis."

What did the sign at the movie theater in Alabama say?
"Children under thirteen not admitted unless accompanied by their husbands"

1. In an imaginary world a kiss would signify the end of sexual tension and the beginning of a relationship. In college, it means somebody is horny.
2. In an imaginary world, "I really like spending time with you," and "You're cool," mean I REALLY like spending time with you and you ARE cool. In college, it means "will you have sex with me?"
3. In an imaginary world, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
4. In an imaginary world the guy buys dinner and a movie and kisses you goodnight at your front door. In college, there is no such thing as a dinner and a movie and at the end of a date, most guys want a hell of lot more that a kiss goodnight.
5. In an imaginary world, men aren't afraid to admit their feelings. In college, if you ask them what they want or why they kissed you they respond, "Why do you think?" Refer to number one for definition.
6. In an more...

A teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let her through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie, and answered almost immediately, "1,228."
"That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer and said, "Name them."

After a venerable career of endless, stellar successes the greatest director who ever lived is in his prime and preparing for his most ambitious project ever when he unexpectedly dies and is called home to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate.
"So sorry about your untimely death," he tells the director. "But God himself has called you home. You see, God wants you to direct a movie for Him."
The great man is humbled, "God wants ME to direct a film?"
"Yes," St. Peter tells him. "And we've arranged to have the best of everything made available to you. For example, the script is by William Shakespeare."
The director is stunned, "An original screenplay by William Shakespeare?"
"Yes," St. Peter assures him, "And it's his greatest work ever."
"Wow!" says the Director, awe struck.
"Your Production Designer will be Michaelangelo. We've got Leonardo Da Vinci doing more...