Mule Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old prospector is riding on his mule in the desert, when he's suddenly confronted by a young, drunk and unruly cowboy. The young cowboy tells the prospector to get off the mule, then asks the prospector, "Hey, old-timer - do you know how to dance?" The prospector says, "No, I reckon I don't know how to dance."
So, the young cowboy pulls his six-gun out of its holster and unloads all six rounds right under the prospector's boots. The prospector danced up a storm while the blazing lead kicked up a storm right under his feet. The young, punk cowboy thought it was so funny he fell to the ground in laughter.
The prospector then casually walked over to his mule and pulled out a double-barrel 12-gauge shotgun and walked back behind the mule and lifted its tail straight into the air. He then pointed the shotgun at the cowboy and said, "Young man, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The cowboy replied, "No, Mister Prospector... BUT I'VE ALWAYS more...
FARMER'S MULE
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately
demanded an inspection of the place. The Farmer had genuinely tried to be
friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly,
non-antagonistic relationship. To no avail, she kept nagging them at every
opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice and making life
unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through
the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law
in the head, killing her instantly. At the funeral service a few days
later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked
by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the
farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked
by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head, no and
mumble a reply. Very curious as more...
Two stupid farmers had this mule that was a very hard worker. The only problem was every time they went to put the mule back in his stall, his ears would brush the top of the entrance and then the old mule would go nuts and kick everything. One day, the farmers decided to cut a opening in the top to prevent this from happening. While they were working, a neighbor stopped by and asked what they were doing, so they explained the problem. The neighbor suggested that they could save a lot of work and time if they simply took a shovel and dug the entrance down a little bit. The farmers thanked their neighbor and he drove off. Then the one farmer said to the other,' Some stupid neighbor we have, it's not his feet that's too long, it's his ears!'
A city man decides that he has had enough of urban life and wants to start a farm. He doesn't have much money, though, so he goes to see an old farmer to get his start.
"I'd like to buy a chicken and a rooster," he says.
"Well, young feller," says the farmer, "I reckon that'd be okay. But out here in the country we call' em a pullet and a cock."
"Okay then," says the guy, "I'll take a pullet and a cock."
"Hey, what about a donkey?" says the city guy.
"Well sure," says the farmer,"but out here in the country we call them asses. All I got is an stubborn old mule out back. He stops alot and he'll only go again if you scratch' im."
"That's fine," says the guy. He pays the farmer and heads off down the road. A little while later, the mule stops in the middle of the road. No matter what the guy does, he won't go. Then he remembers to scratch it, but he can't put his more...
In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.
In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.
In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.
In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.
In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.
A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.
In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.
In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.
In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a mule with a sack of onions?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Two privates stationed at Fort Campbell were handed shovels and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.
"This here's a big mule!" "This ain't no mule, this here's a donkey."
"Mule!"
"Donkey!"
Well, this went on for a while until the camp chaplain came by.
"What are you boys doing?"
"We're diggin' a grave for this mule."
"Donkey, dammit!"
The chaplain cut in, "Boys, this isn't either one, it's an ass!"
An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, "What are you men doing, digging a foxhole?"
"No sir, we're diggin' an asshole."