Mule Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. "Well," explained the husband, "it all goes back to our honeymoon. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule." "We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said' That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly spoke:' That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My wife promptly removed a revolver from her purse, hopped down off the beast, and shot the mule dead." "I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said,' Thats once.'"

A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on his land.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?
The hunter said, "Sure" and headed for the car.
Walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer said it was OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."
With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!"
A second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!!!"

A farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who insisted on a tour of the place after she arrived. When they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stationed himself at the casket and greeted friends and family as they walked by. The pastor noticed that, whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head, "Yes". Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No".
The pastor noticed this happened without fail, "Yes" to women, "No" to men. He asked the farmer after the service what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it is'. The men would ask, 'Want to sell that mule?', and I would shake my head and say, 'Not on your life'."

God created a mule, and told him,' You will be a mule, work constantly from dawn to dusk, and carry heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.'
The mule answered,' To live like that for 50 years will be too much Please, Lord, give me no more than 20 years.' And it was so.
Then God created a dog, and told him,' You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years.'
The dog responded,' Lord, to live 25 years as a dog like that will be too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years' And it was so.
God then created a monkey, and told him,' You will be a monkey You will swing from tree to tree and act like an idiot. You will be funny, and you will live for 20 years.
The monkey responded,' Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world will be too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years.' And it was more...

It's so dry here, the fish are knocking on the door, askin' for a drink of water.He disappeared like a belch in a wind storm.Who blew out your pilot light?I'm so hungry I could lick the sweat off a cafeteria window!It's so good, it'd make a freight train take a dirt road!My stomach's full, but my mouth ain't satisfied!Well now! Don't that just fry your tater?That steak's so rare, a good vet could save it!That's about as easy as nailin' Jell-O to the wall.That feller ain't nothin' but an appetite with skin drawn over it.I'm old and ugly, but I can still pull up to the table three times a day.You can't chew with somebody else's teeth.When foxes pack the jury box, the chicken's always guilty!That's like tryin' to sneak sunup past a rooster!Noisier than a mule in a tin barn.Sexy as socks on a rooster.Mad as a mule chewin' bumblebees.A fartin' horse never tires.You shut the barn door after your horse got out.You're about as useful as a bucket under a bull!Now that he's sowed his wild oats, more...

So it seemed that Professional Wrestling had so much public image problems, and in this age of
political correctness, something had to be done to repair that image. Thus came the idea of a
Sensitivity Training Camp for Professional Wrestlers, deep in Smokey Mountains woods, far from any
human beings. After several hours, of driving on tough roads, the group had to continue the trip, on
foot for another day or so while mules carried the food and equipments for the group.
Two weeks later the Professional Wrestling Federation, invited reporters to interview the wrestlers
who were coming back from the camp. So, this reporter showed up and waited for the wrestlers who were
coming down the mountain.
He meets the Raging Bull, a 400 pound wrestler known for his vicious Death Chop. The reporter asked
him about the memorable events of the camp. After a bit of thought, the Raging Bull says, "Well,
there was this time a mule got lost, so me more...

This is the epitaph on the gravestone of an army mule:
Here lies Maggie, who in her time kicked two colonels, four majors, ten captains, twenty-four lieutenants, forty-two sergeants, four hundred eighty-six privates, and one bomb.