Murmur Jokes

An elderly man went to the doctor for an annual physical. While listening to the old man's heart with his stethoscope, the doctor muttered, "Uh, oh!"
"What is it doctor," the old man asked.
"Well, you appear to have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?" asked the doctor.
"Nope, never have," the old man replied.
"Do you drink excessively?" the doctor asked.
"Nope, never touch the stuff," said the old man.
"What about sex? Do you have a sex life?" the doctor inquired.
"Yes, I do!" the old man answered nervously.
"Well," the doctor said, "I'm afraid that with this heart murmur, you're going to have to give up half of your sex life."
"Which half would that be, doctor... the thinking or the looking?" asked the old man.

An eighty year old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh !"
The man asked the doctor what the problem was.
"Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?"
"No", replied the man.
"Do you drink in excess?
"No." replied the man.
"Do you have a sex life?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life."
Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half...the LOOKING or the THINKING?"

An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, "Oh oh!" The man asked the doctor, "What's the problem?" "Well," said the doc, "you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?" "No," replied the man. "Do you drink in excess?" "No." replied the man. "Do you have a sex life?" "Yes, I do!" "Well," said the doc, "I'm afraid with this heart murmur, you'll have to give up half your sex life." Looking perplexed, the old man said, "Which half - the looking or the thinking?"

A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor,' Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

A 92-year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, the Doc said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you? ” The man replied, “Just doing what you said doctor, ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful. ’” The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful! ”