Museum Jokes / Recent Jokes

Went with a friend to a place called the "New Idea" museum in New York. They consider themselves "edgy" in the art world, they even had an exhibit called "Piles of Laundry." How am I going to break it to the artist that I have that exact same exhibit in my closet?

Benny Shapiro worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He used to tell his friends that he was the curator, although his primary job was to keep the exhibits clean and polished.

One day he happened to be dusting around the Arabian exhibit, and he noticed an ancient urn that needed some cleaning. He got out his dust rag and began polishing. Lo and behold, an enormous Genie appeared before him.

"Master," the Genie began, "I am the Genie of the urn. I can grant you three wishes, but there is one condition I will put on you -- you must never shave or cut your beard for the rest of your life, or you will be forced to take my place inside the urn forever."

Benny thought about it for a bit, and decided it was a fair condition for three wishes. So Benny wished for 49% of the total Microsoft stock which was promptly granted. Then he wished for the most beautiful woman in the world as his wife and lo and behold she was. Finally, he wished more...

Of all tales of the supernatural, this one is perhaps the best documented, the most disturbing and
the most difficult to explain. The Princess of Amen-Ra lived some 1, 500 years before Christ. When she
died, she was laid in an ornate wooden coffin and buried deep in a vault at Luxor, on the banks of
the Nile.
In the late 1890's, 4 rich young Englishmen visiting the excavations at Luxor were invited to buy and
exquisitely fashioned mummy case containing the remains of Princess Amen-Ra. They drew lots.
The man who paid several thousand pounds had the coffin taken to his hotel. A few hours later, he was
seen walking out towards the desert. He never returned.
The next day, one of the remaining 3 men was shot by an Egyptian servant accidentally. His arm was so
severely wounded it had to be amputated.
The 3rd man in the foursome found on his return home that the bank holding his entire savings had
failed. The 4th guy suffered a severe more...

An 88 year old man opened fire in Wahington DC Holocaust Museum.
John McCain said, "See... I told you old guys could do things."