Musical Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone...

Stallone, Tony Danza, and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all going to be in a musical about famous composers.
Stallone wants to be Mozart, Danza says he'll be Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger says "I'll be Bach!"

Stallone, Tony Danza, and Arnold Swarzanagger are all going to be in a musical about famous composers.
Stallone wants to be Mozart, Danza says he'll be Bethoven, and Swarzanagger says "I'll be Bach!"

A colleague on our campus came to work this morning sporting a musical, Christmas tie given to him by his wife and daughter.
He told me that his daughter admonished him to leave at home the box the tie came in because, clearly printed on it, are the words, "Squeeze my tip and hear me sing".
Of course, he had it with him when he arrived for work this morning!

An actor auditioned for a part in a musical comedy many years ago. The director was impressed with the young man's talent. He could dance, he could sing, he had perfect comic timing. The director asked the young man his name." Penis van Lesbian," the man replied proudly." Well," said the director, "we'll have to change that." "Oh," the young man said, "I could never change my name. It's my heritage." "Well," said the director, "if you're not willing to change your name, you'll never go anywhere in show business." The young man left the theater dejectedly. A couple of years later, the director and the young man happened to meet on the street." Do you remember me," asked the young man?" Yes, I do," said the director. "I almost cast you once for a musical comedy. What have you been up to." "Well, I finally took your advice," the young man said. "I changed my name and I have more...

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging more...

There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night clubahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before."The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on myway to find a job."The owner asks, "What do you do?"The guy says, "I write music and play the piano."The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY! I have an ad in the paper lookingforsomeone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for meif you're interested."The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talentand musical abilities. The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifullythan anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?"The guy says, "I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Fucking TheirBrains Out."The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a more...