Mysterious Jokes / Recent Jokes
The BBC Gaza correspondent is sitting in her air conditioned hotel in the Gaza strip, sipping iced tea when her mobile phone begins to ring. She picks up the phone and hears a mysterious voice say, " comrade this is the ruling council of the military wing of Hamas and I would like to inform you that those Israeli pigs have just massacred hundreds of Palastinian women and children. "
The BBC correspondent then asks the mysterious stranger on the phone where and when this had happened but was just given the address of the small provincial hospital just inside the Israeli border where he claimed hundreds of surviving casualties had been taken earlier and informed her that all her expenses would be covered as usual.
Armed with this information she realises that she can finally prove to the world just how evil these Israeli, American Jewish lobby supported pigs really are. So she makes her way as quickly as possible across the border into Israel and to the more...
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One was called Justin and the other was called Christian. Life was good, except that the prawns were constantly being chased and threatened by sharks. Finally one day, Justin said to Christian, "I'm tired of being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten."
Just then a mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swam off, afraid of being eaten up by his old friend.
Time went by and Justin found himself bored and lonely as a shark. All his old pals were afraid of him and swam away whenever he came near. Then one day he was out swimming and saw the mysterious cod.
"I want to be a prawn again," said Justin. "Please change me back!" And lo and behold, the cod changed him back to a prawn. With tears of joy in his more...
Rejected Childrens Book Titles 2.0
1.Lets Learn About Jobs:Hookers
2.Ozzy Osbournes guide to a better vocabluary
3.Hitlers Life Story in Excrusiating Detail: FOR KIDS
4.More Four Letter Words that are Fun to Say
5.Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Sadistic Murderer whos primary targets are Mystery Solving Children
6.The Time Where Cindy Was So Bad, Her Mom stopped loving her
7.A Series of Unfortunate Events #17: The One where the youngest child dies
8:Harry Pothead and the Mysterious Bong
9.There once was an old lady who swallowed a fly and then got leukemia
10.101 Monsters that live Underneath your Bed
11.Rugrats All Grown Up: The Time Chucky Found that Mysterious Plant outside
1. The Enterprise encounters a mysterious energy field, and they've seen it many times before.
2. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without incident.
3. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists and they are all OK.
4. Picard, Riker, and Data visit the Holodeck and it works perfectly.
5. Captain Picard has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people, but the Prime Directive makes it easy.
6. A power surge on the bridge is correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by a well-trained engineering staff using common diagnostic equipment.
7. The officers of the Enterprise encounter a new lifeform, which later turns out to be a common, well-known lifeform who was wearing a funny mask as a joke.
8. A major emergency happens near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it.
9. The Enterprise kicks in warp speed and hits a large planet coming from the right more...
three man walk into a enchanted forest they have lost there way when they come apon a mysterious man he offers them a place to stay in corners of their eyes they see a beautiful wemon undressing and like all men we know what they were thinking but the mysteriuos man tells them accept one exception they must nott have intercourse with his daughter, he tells them there will be deadly conques if they do so they all say ok them go to there huts where they will spen the night.
when they all wake up in the moring the mysterious man tells them all to pull down there pants, because he had inserted a razor blade in his daughter pussy, so the first man pulls down his pants and he had scartched up dick so he shot him 2nd man same thing when third man pulled down his pants nothing was wrong.so the mysteriuos man said good what would like for breakfas he replied cccccccccccccccccccccccoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnfllllllakkkkkkkkes for he had more...
Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground.
"Is that shit, Banta?" Santa said.
"I don't really know." Responded Banta as he bent over, "it smells like shit."
Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. "It feels like shit!"
Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. "Sure tastes like shit, buddy! I think it's definitely shit."
"Hooooeee!" Responded Santa, "Good thing we didn't step in it!"
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted," and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe more...