Swam Jokes

Momo's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liquor so he produed a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be.
He then put the second worm in the glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment but then started to shake and fell to the bottom dead.
"Now" he asked "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?"
"Thats easy," replied Momo. "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

One day an American General, a Russian General and an Indian General were all going to England in a ship. All of them were very boastful.
AG: "I have the bravest and most courageous crew in the world. See for yourselves. Oy, you!" (he called to an American soldier) "Swim around this moving ship."
The American soldier jumped into the sea without a word, and swam around the moving ship and returned.
AG: See the guts!
RG: "Oh, that's nothing. See this. You, (he called to a Russian soldier) swim 5 rounds around this moving ship!"
The Russian soldier also jumped into the sea and swam 5 times around the moving ship and returned.
RG: "See the guts!"
IG: "Oh, that's nothing compared to MY soldiers. You, (he called to Banta Singh) swim 10 times around this moving ship!"
Banta Singh: "Am I your servant?"
IG: "See the guts!"
AG & RG :....!!!

Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away. The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned. The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned. The third guy swam 99 miles, and said,"I'm tired. I think I'll swim back."

As all the sperms were awaiting the big swim, little Freddy was being briefed by one of the elderly sperms. He said to Freddy, "Now you have to swim as fast as you can if you want to be the first one to the egg, and when you do get there, you have to say out loud, "Hello, I'm a sperm." And if you are the first one there the egg will reply, "Hello, I'm an egg." And then you can enter into the egg." So when it was time for all the sperm to start swimming Freddy swam as fast as he could without stopping. He was sure he was nearly there. He turned around to see how far back all the others were, and saw that they were very far behind. As he swam he suddenly found himself in a big moist chamber. He then saw a big round ball, so he swam right up to it and said, "Hello, I'm a sperm." He waited for it's reply. It then said, "Hello, I'm a tonsil."

There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, stranded on an island. They figured the only way to get back to land was to swim. The brunette went first. She swam 10 ft. and drowned. The redhead went next. She swam a quarter of the way there and drowned. The blonde was last. She swam half way there, turned around and swam back because she didnt want to drown.