Naked Jokes / Recent Jokes

So the elephant says to the naked man..."You breathe through that little thing?"

A blonde man comes home from work and hears moaning and screaming from the bedroom. So he goes upstairs and finds his wife lying on the bed naked, sweaty, and panting. He asked her what was wrong and she said, "I'm having a heartattack" so he runs downstairs to call 911 when one of his little kids comes to him and says, "daddy, daddy uncle bob's hiding in the closet naked." The furious blonde man goes back upstairs and sure enough he finds his naked brother in the closet and says to him, "you son-of-a-bitch, my wife's having a heartattack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

One day, little Mikey came home from kindergarten and couldn't find his mother. So he headed upstairs and opened her bedroom door. To his surprise, he saw his dad stripped naked on top of his mom, who was also naked, both heavily into the sexual act. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continued to do what they were doing. After a couple of minutes, Mikey asked, "Daddy, can I climb on top and have a horsey ride?" The dad thinks for a second, "Of course son, we're a family." After a couple more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly." Hang on Dad!" cries Mikey, "This is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

Rarely do we receive a chain letter I feel compelled to pass on, but under the circumstances.... President Bush has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the Taliban cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, tomorrow night at 7: 00 all peace-loving women between the ages of 21 & 35 are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they think it's ok to see other women nude. (A cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.)And to do my part, I'm buying stickers for all women who participate. Stop by my house so I can put the sticker on you to show you helped! Names and addresses of non- participants should be sent to CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia. The United States and Canada appreciate more...

Q. How do you Scare a Man? A. Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars that they have no intention of driving. Q. What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift to women? A. Exchange him. Q. What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A. A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack. Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A. To stop the snoring before it starts. Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Q. How do you get a man to exercise? A. Tie the TV remote control to his shoelaces. Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A. We don't know. It's never happened. Q. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years? A. Because, even back then men wouldn't stop to ask for directions. Q. What is a man's idea of safe sex? A. A padded headboard. more...

Why do jews stink?
because they are dirty bastards!
Why do jews have big noses?
because air is free!
Why did the jews wander the desert for 40 years before finding the promised land?
because someone lost 50 cents!!!
why do jewish women have dirty pussies?
because they are prostitutes!!
what would you have if you had 1000000 negroes on the moon?
a good start!!
a white woman was fed up of dating white men and said that she wanted to try a negro, so she goes to a bar and finds a negro and takes him home. she gets naked and lies with her legs open and says to him " do what you negroes do best", so he grabs the tv and runs away !!!
why do blondes date negroes?
to get their handbags back!!!
what happens when a naked negro with an erection runs into a brick wall at 100 miles per hour? He breaks his lips!!!
A Negro was walking down the beach one day when he sees an old lamp, he rubs it and out comes a genie, who grants him 2 more...

If God meant us to be naked, he would have made our skin fit better.