Names Jokes / Recent Jokes

I eat an awful lot of Chinese food for someone who's not Chinese. You seldom see Chinese people eating Jewish food. There's a huge trade inbalance there.

Chinese food is SO beautiful! Even the names are beautiful.

The other night I got a dish called "Seven Precious Treasures on a Bed of Jade".

I didn't know whether to eat it or sell it on ebay.

All of the following town names are REAL:
Long Dong (Guangxi, China)
Blowhard (Australia)
Pickles Gap (Arkansas)
Petting (Germany)
Mount Mee (Australia)
Titting (Germany)
Lickdale (Pennsylvania, USA)
Yocumtown (Pennsylvania, USA)
Fugit (Kentucky, USA)
Assinippi (Massachusetts, USA)
Big Cockup and Little Cockup (England)
Cocktown (Wexford, Ireland)
Sally's Gap (Ireland)
Dick Johnson (Indiana, USA)
Beaver Bottom (Kentucky, USA)
Black Butte (Oregon, USA)
Sandy Balls (England)
Tilicum (Washington, USA)
Cockburn (Australia)
Bangor (Wales)
Dyckesville (Wisconsin, USA)
Ballville (Ohio, USA)
Prickwillow (England)
Black Charlie's Opening (England)
Kinmount (Ontario, Canada)
Euren (Wisconsin, USA)
Cockland (Ohio, USA)
Assville (Tennessee, USA)
Spuzzum (Canada)
Bloody Dick (Montana, USA)
Shafter (California, USA)
Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
Mt. Buggery more...

What were the names of the three Chinese virgins? Tu Yung Tu, Tu Dum Tu, No Yen Tu

NORTH POLE (API) - Microsoft announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via sattelite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.
The announcement also included a notice that beginning Jan 1, 1995, Christmas and the Reindeer names would be copyrighted by Microsoft. This unprecedented move was facilitated by the recently aquired MS Court. Microsoft stated its commitment to "all who have made Christmas great," and vowed to "make licensing of the Christmas and Reindeer names available to all." It is believed that the guidelines for licensing these names, due before Halloween, will be very strict.


When asked "Why buy Christmas?" Bill Gates replied "Microsoft more...

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.
Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.
Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "That other Librarian we had could write."

Which two names figure prominently in every Ape's diet? Ben/Anna!

One day a week, it was normal practice for the old pastor to pay a visit to the parish school.
When he walked into the 4th Grade class, the young students were studying the states. "How many states can you name?" he asked.
The students were able to come up with approximately 42 names.
Jokingly, he told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
"Yes, but in those days, there were only 13," replied one of the students.