Nasa Jokes / Recent Jokes

During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn`t work under zero gravity conditions. To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space. The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and virtually any surface known to man. The Russians used a pencil.

Your resume includes that job as Strom Thurmond's nanny.
Your historic moonwalk speech? "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Being on oxygen, wearing a waste bag, and eating pureed vegatables through a straw are old hat to you.
Your '96 bid for the presidency didn't quite pan out.
You can't remember the last time you experienced lift-off, if you know what I mean.
Forget the "Vomit Comet" test plane - you failed the "turnstile" test.
NASA fits you for a spacesuit support bra - but you're not female.
"Houston, we're venting some sort of gas out into space... no wait, it's just me."
NASA isn't all that impressed that you already get all your meals from a tube.
You can no longer see over the Shuttle steering wheel without your cushion.
During take-off you keep yelling, "If you kids don't knock off that racket, I'm turning this thing around and we're going straight home!"
Demand that liftoff be more...

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Collection of Shuttle Joke "SHUTTLE JOKES
Q: Did you know that Christa McAuliffe was blue eyed?
A: One blew left and one blew right.
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words?
A: "What's this button do?"
Q: What were Christa McAuliffe's last words to her husband?
A: "You feed the kids - I'll feed the fish."
Q: What was the Shuttle's last transmission?
A: "I said BUD LITE!"
Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also
A3: Chicken Kiev Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn't know it was going to blow up.
Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't
get 7-UP.
Q: When the next shuttle launches into space, what will the senior
controller say?
A: "72, 73, 74 BOOM! - Just kidding guys!"
Q: more...

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba
City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with
all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits.
Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about,
occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA
personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were
and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon. The
man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man
gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would more...

Are Major Asteroid As Dangerous As Predicted? The Answer Arrives in 2003
London (SatireWire.com) — Disappointed after failing to take advantage of Earth's relatively near miss with a large asteroid on Monday, scientists today excitedly unveiled what they called an "asteroid chute" that they said will direct the next massive space object directly into Earth's path, where it can be studied more closely.
Scientists hope the redirected asteroid, now expected to strike Earth by June of 2003, will also settle a pair of long-running debates: Did an asteroid cause the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago? And what size must an asteroid be in order for it to render a planet uninhabitable?
According to Michael Banio of Great Britain's Royal Astronomical Society, asteroid "2001 YB5" passed within 375,000 miles of Earth on Monday, but it was still too far away for useful studies to be conducted. And because YB5 was not discovered until December, more...

A Press Release -
WASHINGTON D.C. The House Appropriations subcommittee on NASA oversight, in another effort to reduce the NASA budget, passed a resolution today to downsize the solar system. According to an unnamed congressional staffer, House Republicans felt there has been "too much redundancy in the solar system" and that streamlining the 4.5 billion year old planetary system is long overdue. Such action would give NASA fewer places to go and this would allow the agency to carry out its space exploration goals within the funding profile that the House proposed earlier this summer.
"Look, we have three terrestrial planets" said Congressman Rip U. Apart (R, Del.), "and only one of them really works! So why not get rid of the other two and clean up the neighborhood?" Most subcommittee members felt that while downsizing was definitely in the cards, eliminating both Mars and Venus was going too far. "We have too many international commitments more...