National Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Republican National Committee has voted to recognize the H1N1 virus as the French Flu.
The Democratic National Committee has voted to recognize the H1N1 virus as the Bush Flu.
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.
You know you`re from northern Vermont when:
You`ve taken your kids trick-or-treating during a blizzard.
You only own three spices- salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
The local Hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
Making it home during Mud Season is a competitive sport.
You think everyone from the city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page, but requires 6 pages more...
Top Ten list. .. If Sonia Gandhi becomes the Prime Minister....
10. There will be branches of Olive Garden all over India
and they will be called OZinda Bagicha!!
9. Their only vegetarian dish will be Eggplant Parmesan and
it will be called Anda-Pauda Parmeshwaran!!
8. All Vadapav Gaadis and Stalls will be selling Pizza and
Pasta.
7. India's National Sport will be - Ofcourse Soccer.
6. Laloo will lose his position as the national animal and
will be replaced by Jayalalitha!
5. National vegetable-Zucchini
4. There will be Pope John Paul's' yearly' visit - twice
every year!!
3. Jahangir Art gallery will be renamed to "Michaelangelo's
Confetti house"!!
2. Men in Indian Army will wear Mini Skirts!!
And. .. the number one thing that will happen if Sonia
Becomes the Prime Minister of India is.....
1. All Sindhi People will get promotions in their positions
because she thinks they are all more...
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book.
Ebonics: "Why we be talkin' like you? Is you listening
anyway?"
Redneconics: " 'Taint sure, Clem, baa I think he
said he wanns to rape all the white women. Less git 'em!"
Blueblonics: "I say, Tad, what are they fighting
about now? You know I can't make out a word mumsy's servants say."
911onics: "I'm sorry, where's the emergency? I can't
understand a thing you're saying."
Coponics: "You're all under arrest under Section
1929 of the penal code. Sergeant, get those blacks and rednecks in
front of the firing squad, the women in the back seat of the patrol
car, and issue Mr. Tadington a ticket."
Dowonics: "1929? I'm sorry, I don't understand."
Moronics: "National Aglet is at 1929? Buy more!
We're going over 68 today!"
Globalecononics: "We're sorry Mrs. Jones, we know
you've worked here at National Aglet for 68 years. But you must
understand that a more...
You know your from Manitoba, Canada, when….
You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think more...