Nationalities Jokes / Recent Jokes
All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride's father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. "The weddin's off," he shouted, "Everybody bugger off!" Dismayed and muttering, the guests repaired to the parking lot, grumbling about their missed opportunity for free beer. One guest, a friend of the bride's father, held back, and approached him. "What's the problem?" he asked. "Someone stole a keg of beer, and some bastard fucked the bride!", exclaimed the father. The guest, taken aback, and rendered speechless, left the church, joining the other farmers. A few minutes later, the father reappeared and yelled "All right! Everyone back inside! The weddin's on again!" As the farmers filed back into the church, the friend again approached the father of the bride, and asked more...
An American tourist is visiting China. After visiting all the tourist attractions he decides to inquire about the people and askes his guide:"How large is the population here?""Around 1.5 billion" - the guide answersAmerican, After a short pause: "So, what else do you do here?"
An American was waiting on a London street corner. Anattractive English girl was passing by when a gust ofwind blew her dress above her waist. "A bit airy, isn't it?" remarked the American. Hearing this, the Cockney girl replied indignantly,"'Ell yes! What did you expect - feathers?!"
Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don't knowwhere they are. The first guy says "I'll find out" and putshis arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says"We're just over Paris""How do you know" ask the others"Well I've just felt the top of the Eiffel tower."Later on the second guy tries and says "We just flew over London""How?" asks the others"Well I've just felt the top of Big Ben"Still later on the last guy tries it, puts his arm out theplane, and says to the others "We have just flown over Glasgow.""How do you know that?" comes the reply."Because some bastard has just stolen my watch"
A 10pm curfew was imposed in BelfastEverybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot.However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm."Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer."I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."
What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)? A leisure centre.
An Indian gentleman on his first visit to the USA visited the foreignexchange to exchange some Rupees. He handed to the cashier 100,000Rpsand after a quick calculation on the calculator, was given $50.45 witha typical "service" smile and "Have a nice day!"The Indian promptly spent this and returned the next day with anotherwad of Rupees. He handed the same cashier 100,000Rps and put his handout for his $50.45, instead he received $48.78.He questiond bitterly Ooh! vy less !!??" Whereupon the cashier replied"Fluctuations!"He screamed back "FLUCK YOU AMERICANS, TOO!" I'm going back to Delhi!!!