Actuary Jokes

A casualty actuary priced an automobile "Fire and Theft" policy with an extremely low premium. When asked why it was so cheap, he said, "Who would steal a burnt car?"

A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $10, 000.

The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure,

he replied, "I have this situation in the fire schedule rating table. The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary? An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

Whats an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.

What's the difference between an insurance company actuary and a mafia actuary?

An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year, a mafia actuary can name them.