Tables Jokes

Back in the bad old days when I was working in a fast food joint...
There was one female type person on the night crew. A very attractive
young lady with a penchant for wearing mini-skirts. Needless to say,
we did not object to this in the least. In fact, we used to let her
wipe down the tables up front, instead of slopping the french fryers
and such. Admittedly one of our reasons was that in order to wipe
down the tables she had to lean far over them and stretch. Generally
facing away from the counter.
This was when we learned that she tended to wear panties that matched
her nail polish. No kidding! She came in one day with black nail polish
with silver speckles, and it turned out that she was wearing black
panties with silver spangles. Another day, she came in wearing pink
nail polish on one hand, and blue on the other. The panties were blue
on one cheek, and pink on the other.
But... one evening... great anticipation... When more...

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York Cityrestaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmenseated there are furiously masturbating.She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We areall berry hungry."The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off inthe middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?"One of the other Japanese men replies,"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same more...

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.
The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.
She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.
Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.
"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"
The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."
She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same more...

Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics shed be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. "Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?" The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand." She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the o dds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?" Again he went through his more...