Tables Jokes / Recent Jokes
Have you ever noticed girls who sit their handbags on public toilet floors - then go directly to their dining tables and set it on the table? Happens a lot! It's not always the' restaurant food' that causes stomach distress. Sometimes "what you don't know' will' hurt you"! Read on... Mum got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been. Smart Mum!!! It's something just about every woman carries with them. While we may know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the outside?
Shauna Lake put handbags to the test - for bacteria - with surprising results. You may think twice about where you put your handbag. Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your more...
Teacher: Where is the English Channel?
Pupil: I don’t know, my TV doesn’t pick it up
Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday!
Teacher: Didn’t you hear me call you?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back!
What tables don’t you have to learn?
Dinner tables!
Why was the headmaster worried?
Because there were too many rulers in school!
Teacher: Recite your tables to me, Joan.
Joan: Dining table, kitchen table, bedside table...
Teacher: Jonny Why Are You Doing Maths On The Floor? Jonny: Teacher You Only Told Me To Do It Without Using Tables!
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country. The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane. She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up. Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics shed be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary. "Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?" The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand." She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the o dds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?" Again he went through his more...
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York Cityrestaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmenseated there are furiously masturbating. She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We areall berry hungry." The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off inthe middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?" One of the other Japanese men replies,"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York Cityrestaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmenseated there are furiously masturbating.She yells, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"One of the Japanese men explains, "Can't you see? We areall berry hungry."The waitress begs the question, "So, how is whacking-off inthe middle of the restaurant going to help that situation?"One of the other Japanese men replies,"The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"