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A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He`s pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle.

They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on.

Remember it`s all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill...

Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from more...

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction.

The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself,"Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake. What is the moral of the story?

Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...

Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day...
Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It lands right in the center of the pond and kind of hovers over the water. Jesus casually walks out on the pond and chips the ball right up onto the green.
Then the third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there, it bounces onto the roof of a shack close by and rolls down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hits a little stone and bounces out over the water more...

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drainspout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hit a little stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily pad, more...

The asylum decided it would be good for the inmates to learn to work together. Thus they organized a baseball team, the star player of which was "Nuts" McGuirk. Unfortunately, though Nuts could slam the ball a mile and field like a demon, he had to be told what to do every step of the way. Thus, whenever Nuts had to play, the coach was always nearby.
The day of the first game arrived, and a large crowd gathered at a local stadium to see the lunatics play the doctors.
After nine innings it was a tie game. The inmates had the bases loaded, and there were two outs. Luckily, it was Nuts' turn to bat. The coach quietly whispered to him, "Up, Nuts!" and Nuts left the bench. "Bat, Nuts," he said, and the player went to the plate.
Alas, just then a vendor nearby shouted, "Peanuts!"

Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.
The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there, it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond.
On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad where it rested more...